Is Facebook evil?
I relented and joined Facebook recently, mostly for professional reasons. And it led to disturbing revelations about my psyche. Facebook, you're tearing me apart. (If you can find me on there, let's be internet friends!)
Minor neuroses and latent insecurities Facebook taunts:
1. Am I a class-jumping faker?
Sure, it's not like I grew up on the streets of Calcutta or ate ketchup for dinner every night as a kid. And, sure, it's not like I now hob-knob with dignitaries or evade the paparazzi. But a lot of times I am struck by how well-educated, financially secure and professionally accomplished my co-workers and friends are and how I'm still catching up.
Because of its roots, Facebook highlights your education -- with many people designating their alma mater as their primary network. Good gravy, y'all, since when do I know so many people who went to Ivy League or hotsy-totsy schools? Successful people want to network with me even though I sold matches on the streets to raise money for my state-college education. Or maybe I am some kind of snob who doesn't want to electronically befriend the other match girls?
When I look at my Facebook friends list it looks something like this:
Joe Smith (Harvard)
Jennifer Chan (Dartmouth)
Tim Hatchback (Notre Dame)
Sarah Tobacco (Brown)
Icabod Rodriguez (MIT)
Famous Nerd I Met Professionally But Don't Know Well
Etc!
I went to Sonoma State University, and I'm (usually) proud to say so. For the most part, I feel like this was a wise decision. But ultimately I know that it was a decision fueled by financial considerations. I did not pay any tuition. Word up, grants. That sounds practical, but it doesn't exactly communicate intellectual clout.
Sometimes it would be nice to have someone say "You went to [college name]? So did I!" and then exchange some kind of knowing look (and secret handshake?) with me that communicated a shared cultural and intellectual history. If I do happen to find someone who went to SSU, it's more like, "You went to SSU? So did I. Were you also a re-entry student who enthusiastically pursued a bargain education in a pretty town after several years in the workforce?"
2. Am I the only single person over 25?
Seriously, people. I am 31 and hot stuff. Single status not attributed to lack of desirability but rather to lack of suitable available male counterparts. Apparently, while I was busy in college being five years older than everyone and raising my hand in class all the time, men my age were getting married or entering long-term relationships.
3. Am I too much of a nerd or not enough of one?
Am I the only one who wouldn't mind a little color? That's not a racial thing, although maybe it is since I see a lot of honkies on Facebook. But I'm talking about the look of the place.
Though not an actual geek myself, I am ensconced in geekiness (personally and professionally) so I know the value of black text on a white blackground, Ajax (as in programming not as in tub-scouring agent), user-customization limits, API and so on. But goddamn if the site doesn't make me want to rebelliously fill my profile somehow with sparkle unicorns, dancing bananas and quotes from "Harold and Kumar Go to Whitecastle." Usability, performance, blah blah blah. You're putting me to sleep with your enhanced functionality, Facebook!
Is talking about those technical details boring? Did I talk about them in a stupid way that makes me not in-the-know? Is my job performance hindered by my dislike for the site's layout? Who am I?? Am I a mid-level wannabe? Or! Am I that person who doesn't get how things work and thinks she understands things she doesn't?
Conclusion: Say what you will about MySpace, but all it does is be slow, bug me and look dumb. It doesn't cause existential dilemmas. Oh, and on MySpace I am a Yale graduate who's married and has a kid. I got my PhD in Rock.
Minor neuroses and latent insecurities Facebook taunts:
1. Am I a class-jumping faker?
Sure, it's not like I grew up on the streets of Calcutta or ate ketchup for dinner every night as a kid. And, sure, it's not like I now hob-knob with dignitaries or evade the paparazzi. But a lot of times I am struck by how well-educated, financially secure and professionally accomplished my co-workers and friends are and how I'm still catching up.
Because of its roots, Facebook highlights your education -- with many people designating their alma mater as their primary network. Good gravy, y'all, since when do I know so many people who went to Ivy League or hotsy-totsy schools? Successful people want to network with me even though I sold matches on the streets to raise money for my state-college education. Or maybe I am some kind of snob who doesn't want to electronically befriend the other match girls?
When I look at my Facebook friends list it looks something like this:
Joe Smith (Harvard)
Jennifer Chan (Dartmouth)
Tim Hatchback (Notre Dame)
Sarah Tobacco (Brown)
Icabod Rodriguez (MIT)
Famous Nerd I Met Professionally But Don't Know Well
Etc!
I went to Sonoma State University, and I'm (usually) proud to say so. For the most part, I feel like this was a wise decision. But ultimately I know that it was a decision fueled by financial considerations. I did not pay any tuition. Word up, grants. That sounds practical, but it doesn't exactly communicate intellectual clout.
Sometimes it would be nice to have someone say "You went to [college name]? So did I!" and then exchange some kind of knowing look (and secret handshake?) with me that communicated a shared cultural and intellectual history. If I do happen to find someone who went to SSU, it's more like, "You went to SSU? So did I. Were you also a re-entry student who enthusiastically pursued a bargain education in a pretty town after several years in the workforce?"
2. Am I the only single person over 25?
Seriously, people. I am 31 and hot stuff. Single status not attributed to lack of desirability but rather to lack of suitable available male counterparts. Apparently, while I was busy in college being five years older than everyone and raising my hand in class all the time, men my age were getting married or entering long-term relationships.
3. Am I too much of a nerd or not enough of one?
Am I the only one who wouldn't mind a little color? That's not a racial thing, although maybe it is since I see a lot of honkies on Facebook. But I'm talking about the look of the place.
Though not an actual geek myself, I am ensconced in geekiness (personally and professionally) so I know the value of black text on a white blackground, Ajax (as in programming not as in tub-scouring agent), user-customization limits, API and so on. But goddamn if the site doesn't make me want to rebelliously fill my profile somehow with sparkle unicorns, dancing bananas and quotes from "Harold and Kumar Go to Whitecastle." Usability, performance, blah blah blah. You're putting me to sleep with your enhanced functionality, Facebook!
Is talking about those technical details boring? Did I talk about them in a stupid way that makes me not in-the-know? Is my job performance hindered by my dislike for the site's layout? Who am I?? Am I a mid-level wannabe? Or! Am I that person who doesn't get how things work and thinks she understands things she doesn't?
Conclusion: Say what you will about MySpace, but all it does is be slow, bug me and look dumb. It doesn't cause existential dilemmas. Oh, and on MySpace I am a Yale graduate who's married and has a kid. I got my PhD in Rock.
I want to say congratulations for making me laugh out loud more than once while reading this. Also, I have a strong aversion to Facebook and basically don't see the point of it.
Posted by
Joy |
9/08/2007 12:25 PM
I laughed out loud, too! Joy, did you also get selfish pleasure out of Marcia being paranoid and insecure for once? Man, am I tired of holding the bag on that one!
Posted by
l.ementary |
9/09/2007 10:48 PM
I think there must be something wrong with my head. I've looked at facebook and had a friend request from a pretty little blonde girl, but found myself pretending that she was really a big greasy russian bloke in a string vest. As if that would ever happen.
I've lost the thread of what I was talking about now. Must be these crackers. Bloody things - "McVities KrackaWheat", they're called. Very distracting.
Aye! The facebook thing! Well, the way I see it is that facebook is populated almost exclusively by the kinda of people who like sites like facebook. As the union of me and the set of people who like facebook is the empty set, then there's really not much point in me going there (hairy russians notwithstanding).
Posted by
John |
9/27/2007 5:40 AM
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