Like, LOL
I will share something funny someone else wrote, and then be a copy cat and write something similar directly following it.
From McSweeney's, excerpted from "Conversations between famous people as imagined by someone with an American public-school education who didn't pay too much attention in school but who did just enough to pass exams" by Matt Passet
Now here's mine:
Jimmy Carter and George Washington Carver
CARTER: I was president of the United States. I see that you are black.
CARVER: You're right. I also do things with peanuts.
CARTER: Me, too!
CARVER: What do you do with peanuts? I may or may not have invented peanut butter, but I definitely used peanuts in famous inventions.
CARTER: Maybe I just ate a lot of peanuts. I'm not really sure. I have big teeth and am from the South.
CARVER: You seem like a nice guy. You weren't around for the Civil War, though. I think I was. If not, I'm still pretty sure that I was somehow discriminated against because of my race even though I was later recognized as a pioneer.
CARTER: I would not have discriminated against you, because I am indeed very nice. Good thing there were no cars when you were alive. I think I hiked up gas prices and made people wait in long lines.
CARVER: I can't remember if you were one of the masks in "Point Break" or not.
CARTER: I am still alive.
CARVER: I am not.
From McSweeney's, excerpted from "Conversations between famous people as imagined by someone with an American public-school education who didn't pay too much attention in school but who did just enough to pass exams" by Matt Passet
Richard Nixon and Winston Churchill
NIXON: Hello, I see you're smoking a cigar and wearing a large hat.
CHURCHILL: So I am, young chap. Could I interest you in a cigar?
NIXON: Sure, I think I smoke cigars ... maybe ... I don't know.
(CHURCHILL hands a cigar to NIXON, who bites off the tip and lights it.)
NIXON: We were probably alive at the same time.
CHURCHILL: Indeed, my boy, indeed. I had something to do with World War II and I think maybe you fought in it.
NIXON: I'm not sure if I did.
CHURCHILL: There's not that much more about me that everyone knows.
NIXON: I once held up my hands and formed two peace signs. I was either about to get onto a plane or get off of one.
CHURCHILL: I have seen the photo, because I think there were cameras when I was alive.
NIXON: And what about Watergate? I did that.
CHURCHILL: Margaret Thatcher is someone else from England. She was leader after me.
NIXON: People can buy masks of my face.
Now here's mine:
Jimmy Carter and George Washington Carver
CARTER: I was president of the United States. I see that you are black.
CARVER: You're right. I also do things with peanuts.
CARTER: Me, too!
CARVER: What do you do with peanuts? I may or may not have invented peanut butter, but I definitely used peanuts in famous inventions.
CARTER: Maybe I just ate a lot of peanuts. I'm not really sure. I have big teeth and am from the South.
CARVER: You seem like a nice guy. You weren't around for the Civil War, though. I think I was. If not, I'm still pretty sure that I was somehow discriminated against because of my race even though I was later recognized as a pioneer.
CARTER: I would not have discriminated against you, because I am indeed very nice. Good thing there were no cars when you were alive. I think I hiked up gas prices and made people wait in long lines.
CARVER: I can't remember if you were one of the masks in "Point Break" or not.
CARTER: I am still alive.
CARVER: I am not.
Did you ever notice how McSweeney's kind of approaches humor with like a lab coat and a pair of tweezers?
Posted by
jim |
5/29/2007 6:13 PM
All great literature should feature at least one "Point Break" reference.
Posted by
Grogged |
5/29/2007 8:40 PM
This one hit a little close to home...I will never discuss history again, for fear of sounding like this...
Posted by
Ehren Ebbage |
5/30/2007 9:30 AM
I enjoyed this! McSweeney's has nothing on you. Must be because you are a Word Pirate.
Posted by
Joy |
5/30/2007 1:00 PM
This made me laugh out loud! I will talk about history just like this and hope I delight people as well!
Posted by
L-ementary |
5/30/2007 10:39 PM
Post a Comment